Monday, April 7, 2014

Pregnancies close together

As many of you know, we're due to have our second baby in June. Our due date is exactly 11 months from Jed's birthday. We're having what some people call Irish twins! Although I can't tell you what it's like having two babies close in age, I can tell you what two close pregnancies feel like. Here are 10 things about having close pregnancies.
1. You feel like you've been pregnant forever! It seems like I have been pregnant for two years!! Which I suppose is kind of true, with a little break in between. I'm kind of excited to not be pregnant for a while and to be able to paint my own toes. 

2. You're so tired. Not only does being pregnant make you tired, but you have a newborn to take care of. I can't tell you what it's like to breastfeed and be pregnant but imagine it's even more exhausting. The good news is you can nap when you're baby naps and for me that was often :)

3. People are rude. I can't tell you how many comments I have received from people saying it's sad that I'm pregnant again. They feel the need to let me know that I'm going to neglect my first child. At first you're really hurt but then you learn to get over it. Most of those people had their kids 20 years apart (haha) and can't imagine doing it differently. 

4. You can't move as quickly. Not sure this applies to everyone but it definitely applies to me. People don't wonder if I'm pregnant when they see me, they know. I'm huge! So once I start to show it's harder for me to move. Everything takes longer! But if you're babys not crawling or walking yet, it's not so bad. 

5. People are nice. Although some people can be rude, there's also people who are really nice. People hold the door, carry things for me, help me with things. It's all the good things about being pregnant times two! 

6. You're not as excited. Although I'm excited to have a baby, I'm not as excited about pregnancy. When I was first pregnant I would journal everything, take pictures, read about the baby's development. With this pregnancy I'm not even sure how far along I am. 

7. Your husband is not as excited. He doesn't want to feel your stomach every time the baby kicks or go with you to every appointment. He knows the drill, and he just wants that baby out as much as you do. 

8. Everyone else is not as excited. People would ask me how I was feeling all the time, with Jed. Now I get: "when are you due again?" You have graduated to pregnancy pro and people aren't as excited as they were. I think it's mostly because they have already told you all their pregnancy stories. 

9. Life is not as demanding. After you have a baby you get what I call a "grace period" where people don't expect much from you. They bring you food, help with chores, and hold your baby while you sleep. Although you're exhausted, I imagine it's easier to be pregnant with a baby than it would be with a toddler. 

10. It helps to ask for help. You're going to be exhausted! Don't be afraid to ask people for help. As a new mom you want to get things right and do everything yourself. I promise that your baby won't be permenatly damaged if dad watches him while you take a nap. 

That's all! I'm sure every pregnancy is different. What are some things you found in your second pregnancy? 

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Words hurt

There are times in our lives that it seems painfully obvious that words hurt. Mostly this happens when we or someone we care about is hurt by them. After you become a mom you are especially sensitive to comments people say. I can't speak for all moms but I know that for me becoming a mom was a huge change (shock is more like it). I was and still can be super emotional and critical. So it doesn't really help when people make thoughtless comments. There are things that have stuck with me from when Jed was born. I remember someone jokingly saying, "didn't you have the baby already?" A few days after I gave birth. I remember every comment people say when Jed is not wearing socks, or a hat, or isn't bundled up to his forehead in eighty degree weather. When people comment on how he wasn't breasted and how they breasted all of their children. And just the other day someone mentioned how unfortunate it is that I'm having a baby so soon after because Jed will be neglected. Yeah! Those are all things that stick with me and I don't tend to forget. Not because I'm still mad at the person but because they're hurtful reminders that you're just not getting it right.

Something I have always admired in my mom is how easily she is able to let go of negative things. She doesn't give rude comments a second thought, she just assumes that the person doesn't know any better. That is something that I so desperately desire to have! Something that I pray for. I remind myself that my worth is not in what people think of me but in God. Sometimes that's not so easy but going through all of this I am reminded of two things.

The first is to be careful with my words. I'm so guilty of gossip! Just a few weeks ago I confessed to my husband how easily it comes out! I can be getting in the car and the first thing I say is guess what this person said. This whole experience has shown me how much words can tear a person down. You can also change how someone sees a person based on the things you say. A verse that my husband often quotes to me is Ephesians 4:29 :)

The other is to show grace! Sometimes people don't know any better. Sometimes they think they're trying to help. Most of the time they don't know how hurtful what they're saying actually is. Just remember that there have been times when you have also said hurtful things. It's easier to show grace to ourselves and to be judgmental towards others, because we can rationalize why we do things (we're our best defense).

Just remember that our words should give grace to those who hear.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Hey Moms!

March already?! Wow how time flies! I can't believe Jed is 7 months and we're getting ready for our second baby. This mom thing has been crazy, fun, exhausting, and very humbling. I'm both excited and nervous to be having our second baby in June. I'm starting to come into a schedule, finally after 7 months. I have also been thinking through what I want to do with this blog. I thought about changing it, deleting it, or leaving it all together. I finally decided to make it into an online community for moms! There are so many questions, concerns, problems, that I had during the first few months (and still have). I wanted so badly to have a reliable person to answer all of my questions but the internet doesn't always have that. I went on a lot of forums where someone's moms-sisters-daughters-friend tried such and such and it worked for them. I wanted to talk to someone who had tried it or went through it. Someone I could trust! That's what I hope to make of this blog! I know that I can only offer one perspective, but maybe that's the perspective you need. I hope that I can help answer some of your questions and relieve some of your concerns. I also hope to build relationships with you! I'm excited for this new chapter in our life! 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

X factor

I normally don't watch singing competitions anymore because the people I like always get eliminated. Well, for some reason I decide to start watching the X-factor (I know!). And what happened last night? Exactly what I knew would happen, my favorite guy got voted off.  James Kenney said farewell to the X-factor last night (tear). Yes, they voted off the hard working dad and husband. The one guy who isn't squandering his life and his family's by "following his dreams". The apartment manager who is willing to give up his dreams in order to provide for his family. Not only that, but he's a really good singer!!! And in my completely unbiased and uninformed opinion he was the BEST singer last night. The best! 

It goes without saying that I will not be watching the X-factor anymore. It also goes without saying that this singing show is completely rigged and based on nothing but ridiculous favoritism. And to think, a few weeks ago I really admired Kelly's fashion sense. Now the whole show and this years cast is on my list along with Walmart, and whoever is responsible for canceling Jericho. The outrage! 

In other news, Halloween is tomorrow and we're trying to keep the family tradition alive by watching Hocus Pocus and eating more sugar than grandma on a Monday! Between worship team practice and a 3 month old we might have to put the tradition to rest this year. So watch a Halloween movie and get chocolate wasted for us. 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Favorite things: Fall edition

Since it rained yesterday here in LA fall has been on my mind. Sometimes it feels like summer all the way until January, but this year it seems to be coming early (happy dance). So in honor of fall here are some of my favorite things....                       

Our newborn essentials

Since Jed is turning 3 months next week, he is no longer a newborn (sigh). So here are a few of the things that have gotten us through the past 3 months....   

1. Bassinet. Preferably one that vibrates. It put him to sleep every time.

2. Pacifier. This was a LIFE SAVER in the beginning. He's not as interested in it anymore.

3. Sound machine. One of the keys to putting him to sleep through the night. 

4. Changing mat/ blanket. Since we don't have a changing table (which I would love but we have no room for) the next best thing is a "changing blanket. It's just a thick blanket we put down before we change him, because he pees on EVERYTHING! 

5. Chair. When he wasn't sleeping in his bassinet, he was in this chair! Wonderful!

This is pretty much our essential list other than the things you need to feed and change him. We give him a shower with dad so we hardly used the bathtub but I imagine we will once he's able to sit-up. 

Some of the things that would have been nice to have: 

Changing table. 

Wipe warmer. The cold wipes make him pee.

Bottle steamer. Washing bottles is the opposite if fun.

Swing. We borrowed a small swing when he was about two months, but it could hardly push him. Jed is 14 pounds of pure muscle. 

I think the list is different for everyone but these are some of the things that helped us.