Why you shouldn't talk bad about your husband online

Social media is sometimes the disease that keeps on giving. Don't get me wrong, there are aspects of social media that are really awesome, but sometimes it can be a really crappy place. Interacting with people online, I think for some reason we say things we wouldn't normally say face to face. Often times that includes people closest to us. I have to admit that I myself have wanted to post some passive aggressive comments about people on Facebook. I think we all have those moments of wanting to give someone a piece of our mind without actually talking to them. Ive recently noticed a lot of wives who do it to their husbands. But I have compiled a list of reasons as to why you shouldn't talk bad about your husband (or anyone) online, but also anywhere else.

Gossip is gossip. I have such a hard time with gossip. I often say the first thing that pops into my head and not necessarily the best thing to say.  It is much easier to gossip online, wether in comments, messages, forums, tweets (ugh, tweets), or FB statuses. But when God said we were going to be accountable for every word, I think that includes tweets. Talking online can sometimes not seem like a big deal because we don't see the person who we're hurting but It's still gossip. You're "venting" or just being "funny," but it's still painting him in a bad light.

It changes your husbands reputation. Maybe you're just venting. Maybe you will change your mind in an hour. But as soon as you put those things out there people will form an opinion about him. I learned this the hard way. I said something about someone when I was really upset. After I was  over it, the person I told was still upset. I had already talked to and made up with them, but it was too late! They already formed an opinion based on the comments I made. On the other side of it, I have been the recipient of comments that have changed my opinion about people. The toothpaste analogy is really fitting in this scenario. Once you put those things out there, it is impossible to put them back. And you are putting it out there for hundreds of people to see. Imagine your shortcomings being broadcasted.

People will see you differently. Very rarely are people called out online. When I see a status that I don't agree with I usually don't say anything, even if I disagree. I think most people will either not say anything or try and make you feel better. But what people aren't saying, is that you're comments show you're immature and don't know how communicate in a relationship. What you're saying may be about your husband, but it also says a lot about you.

It will change you. You know what the best way to become a bad communicator is (besides that sentence)? Completely avoid your problems. Nothing will make you worse at it than completely avoiding a conversation. Do it long enough, and you have a great recipe for a bad marriage. Posting stuff online without the consequences of someone say anything will make you bitter, ineffective, and desperate for a resolution that might not ever happen.  

People are mostly going to agree with you because you're friends. So now not only are you bashing your husband but people on the internet are joining in. Can you imagine how awful that would feel if it was you? I can count on my one hand the number of times someone has told me they disagree with me online. Not because I'm always right (although I like to think that) but because friends don't want to make things awkward. Instead they probably silently formed opinions about me. I recognize that this is a lot of times easier said than done, because lets face it, the internet always listens. So what should you do?

Talk to your husband. Alway talk to him first and try to resolve the issue. And be open to the (rare and almost impossible) possibility that maybe you're the problem and the one that needs to change. Small example, when my husband leaves the milk out, he's not doing it because he's a mean vile man who wishes misery on my day. He just forgets. And you know what, It's not that hard for me to just put it back in the fridge.

Talk to a good friend. Preferably someone who is married and can relate to how difficult it can be.

Someone who doesn't gossip. I have friends who I know are going to agree with me and friends who are going to tell me like it is. There are times, unfortunately, that I just want to vent to someone (thats called gossip). Don't just talk to someone who will agree, but talk to someone who is going to give you sober advice, and someone who you know isn't going to tell someone else.

Someone who will pray. Most importantly, talk to someone who will pray for you. Not someone who just wants to know whats going on but is genuinely invested in your spiritual walk and wants to see you guys succeed.

I try and only ask for prayer or talk to someone when I'm having a really hard time. Most of the time I got to my mother in law  or sister(s) in law because they fulfill all of that criteria and because I trust that their opinion of my husband isn't going to change. Having spiritually mature friends who aren't just going to bash your husband is really important, for you and for your marriage.

There will be countless times where your husband will offend you or annoy you. So you will have countless chances to speak bad about him. Your husband will fail you because he is human and thats sort of what we're really good at. But fight the temptation to speak bad about him and instead pray. We are most disappointed when we put our trust in man instead of God.

I will add that this does not include major sins like verbal and physical abuse, cheating, or any sin that your husband is unwilling to change. You should always seek help and talk to someone about. Don't keep things like that to yourself. 

Hidey Socks (no show socks) Review

Recently I was asked by a friend of mine to review some socks, but not just any socks, no show socks! Those of you who know me, know my hate-hate relationship with no she socks. I HATE THEM! I think they're gross, I hate that they go into your shoe, and I think you might as well not wear any socks instead of no shows. So when my friend asked me to review them I said okay but that I was going to be honest about it. I was pretty skeptical about it and I kept thinking that I didn't know how I was going to write a bad review. So I finally decided to try them on and I have to say I am a changed woman!!! I'm not sure what kind of witchcraft is in these sock,s but they are awesome. Is this how all socks are suppose to feel?! I would walk a lot more if all socks felt this way. If i had to describe it, it would be like walking on what I could only imagine, baby pandas feel like. They are ridiculously comfortable! My guess as to what makes them comfortable is what they claim as "gel" but I really think is magic.

The socks themselves work because of the strap on them, I think that keeps the sock from being sucked into your shoe. I personally wore them a lot with my hightop convers and ankle boots. I don't own flats (because they're disgusting) so I couldn't tell you how well they work with them, but from the looks of it, I would figure just the same. They absolutely hold true to every claim they make. My feet weren't cold, even though it was 30 degrees out. They also didn't sweat, even though I wore them out all day. All in all this is an excellent product. I wish they would make all kinds of socks because I would buy them all and sleep in a bed of magic panda socks. I am definitely a fan, and if they're looking for a spokesperson of some sort I could do that too. I'm just here to help. So if you like no show socks, or the feeling of walking in the lap of luxury, then go out and buy yourself these socks, because they will change your life, or at least make your walk around Walmart more bearable. I'm kidding, nothing could do that, pretend I said Target. 

The people that change our life

We have been in the military for two years now! Wow that time just disappeared. It's strange because at the time I remember thinking, six years is so long and that it was going to seem like an eternity. Now we're past the two year mark and I can't believe that we only  have four years left.  When we first signed up a big part of me was excited for the "could be", but another part of me was really sad for the "could have been". But I have to say without a doubt, this is where God wants us. I remember having that conversation with RJ about joining the ARMY. He just didn't see where God wanted him to go, and it seemed like every door back home was closing.  Long story short, here we are station in NY.

 I'm not sure how many people get life changing experiences but I seem to get them by the bag full (is that a saying?). God just seems to want to impart remarkable wisdom in my life, like sprinkles on a cupcake. You don't have to look very hard to find remarkable stories in the military. You also don't need to look very hard to find stories of suffering, heartbreak, courage, and people who come from a completely different life than yours.

I remember sitting on the couch talking to this guy from RJs work. He has to be one of the most (if not the most) humble guys I have ever met. He grew up pretty poor in Detroit, Michigan and later joined the military. When they showed him the house he would be living in, he was amazed! You know, the "crappy" on post housing everyone complains about. He told the lady that it was huge compared to where he grew up. Huge?! Sometimes I think that It's a privilege to grow up with nothing because it gives you incredible character. I'm not sure what words I would use to describe him and his wife, but I think that content is the only one that comes to mind. Seems like such a simple word, right? But it is so rare. So incredibly rare, like a shakespeare signature. It seems that you find so little contentment in the world anymore.

 I cherish these "chance" meetings with people that have come into our life for such a small amount of time but have made the greatest impact.  I will never forget a card that our friend wrote to us before he left that said my life is forever better because of you guys. I don't think he could have know how much that would impact us, but it did. It was like a huge reassurance from God that we made the right choice. Both RJ and i have wondered if we made the right choice by moving so far from our family. How would God use us? Would we make a difference? Is this where we were suppose to be? It seems the longer we're here the more that doubt fades away. I don't think that we made a rash choice by joining the military or that God is working out a bad decision we made. The longer we're here, the more I see how God worked everything out for us to be here. I think the same is true from everyone we meet (like my father in law would say, It's like theres a God).

I can't say that It's been easy, that there hasn't been times where I wish I was home, or have literally said I miss my mom (which I didn't think was possible to utter out loud). But it has been an incredible experience! No, not the ARMY, but God. We have an opportunity to experience Christians from all over the world. They each have unique gifts, and personalities, and stories. The more people we meet, the more we fall in love with God. To meet someone that has lived an entirely different life than you, but they love God just the same. It gives me such an incredible sense of hope. To add to the things that I am thankful for in this experience, this one is at the very top of my list. I OFTEN get bogged down with what seems to be an increasing disdain for Christians in the world. It's really easy for me to feel alone. But through all of the people I meet, I am encouraged that God is working!! Even if the rest of the world doesn't want to acknowledge it. There is a very real, very present God in NY, and He seems to be constantly moving His people around.

The card we received from our friend went on to say that he hopes to impact someone else the way we have impacted him. What I wish I could have told him is that he already has. I don't know that any of our friends know that. It's not by giving awesome gifts, or killer parties, or even particularly fun activities, but just by being them. By giving me a sense of hope that i don't think i could have gotten any other way. It's like those scenes in movies when you see the girl the guy likes and everything is in slow motion and bright. Is that a weird description to use? Thats just how I feel, ok! I feel a bright, slow motion, sense of emotion towards my friends. This seems to be getting weirder the longer I type. So I will just say that people have a lot more to offer than we often see, and everyone can impact your life if you just allow them to. Which now that I'm typing this out seems like I could have summarized this whole thing in a couple of sentences. But if you powered through all that, you're awesome, and I love you. But don't worry I won't picture you in a slow motion, bright light kind of way.

2016 Gift Guide: When you don't know what to get

So I have rummaged the internet for the perfect gift for the family that you just don't know that well and I think I have come up with quite possibly the perfect gift guide. And if you don't think this is perfect, than you can just kick rocks because I pulled my hair out and my eye started to twitch trying to figure out just what to get our family. The online gift guides just didn't cut it because I am not about to spend $50 on a pottery barn serving platter or $5 on a mug. All the gifts seemed outrageously expensive or cheap, there seemed to be no middle ground. Who comes up with these gift guides?  I'm also not about the gift card life for the most part. I am a black Friday, cyber Monday, deal finding shopper. I like to get the absolute most for my money. So I can be like, yea that is normally a super expensive watch, but I got it on black Friday. Bam!

So here it is.... what to get your family.

Board Games:

Every year theres pretty awesome board games that come out. Last year it was pie in the face and this year It's Watch ya mouth! A board game is quite possibly my favorite gift to give and get. It's just so fun, and its something that you can use right away. I know we had a blast using pie in the face last year. This year I bought a couple of board games because I thought our family would love them. They're also a great gifts for people who have game nights a lot.

Funny Books

Who doesn't love a funny book? Theres really no way to go wrong with this. I have seen some pretty funny ones lately at Target and amazon. My favorites right now are the compilation of funny test answer books. RJ and I had a good laugh at Target reading through them. What's your poo also made RJ laugh just based on the title. He said we have to buy that for someone.

Foodie sets

For the people in your life who love to cook or just love food or you just don't know what to get but they have a kitchen. Here it is! I love little gifts that go together, and who doesn't need a good cook book? You can do a little cast iron with a recipe book, a book about salt with a salt sampler, or cookie stamps with a book about sugar cookies. I'm sure the combinations could go on (like a cake pan and bread book), but these are some of my favorites.

Little Gifts

I enjoy receiving little gifts, and I think they're fun to put together. These are some of my favorite go to, funny candles, shaped soap (you can even DIY), mittens, and  a mug for good measure.

Step Counter 

I share this because I kept rattling my brain on what to get my mom this year for Christmas, when it finally hit me! A step counter. I know that she would really like it and It's useful. I thought Target was having a crazy sale but Amazon is having an even better one. Theres a step counter for every technology level, so this would even be a great gift for your grandma who might not be as good at technology or even for someone who is!

So here is my 2016 gift guide! My general rule is I don't like to get someone something that I myself wouldn't want. So I hate giving lotion sets or perfume because I personally don't like that stuff, and I feel bad that someone is wasting their money on something I probably won't use. So I hope this keeps at least one persons eye from twitching. Since it took me so long to come up with it, I felt like I had to share it. I will also mention that some of our family used Elfster this year which was awesome, and super helpful!

Happy shopping, and may the odds be ever in your favor!


This quote has really resonated with me lately. I am to a fault a creature of habit. I can eat the same thing everyday and have the same routine every week and I love it. Habit is sort of a safety blanket for me. When I don't have it, it really throws me off. However once Ive done something enough times, It's hard for me to break from that. I found that specially true at our old house. I had a schedule (not a good one) and I had a hard time breaking it. I want things to change so desperately but I haven't ever changed my habits, I just expect things to be different! Ive heard this quote in the past and I always thought of it for big desires, like money, or success of some sort. But what about small changes? Things like being in shape, being more organized, being a better mom, a more disciplined Christian. We all have "small" things we wish would change. Ive never been in what I consider great shape, but I've also never really done anything about that!

So what if I made tangible changes to get desired goals? I have come to understand that I make outlandish claims on a regular basis. Like when I said I would give up sugar for a year.... here we are in October and I think I actually managed to eat more sugar this year (the ice cream is good here, y'all). I am just not the type of person that can do big picture goals, they start to get too unreachable for me. I have  come to learn that I can do small achievable goals. So I'm doing a new series challenge, where I come up with new "challenges" every week (or couple of weeks) in order to change a habit. Have you heard it said that you can do anything for 1 minute, well I challenge you to do something for 1 week. I will have the first challenge tomorrow! I think with the right goal and the right support we can do it. Things that maybe seemed like they would never change. We don't always have to have drastic proclamations, sometimes its the small victories that make the biggest difference.
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