Spanish Pinay {Guest Post day 2}

 This is day 3 of my honeymoon and I wanted to leave you with this funny/wise post from Marilou. She blogs over at Spanish Pinay. I you want to hear her crazy story of dropping everything and moving to Spain check her blog out. So here she is....
Daisy is finally settling down! Or is she?  Let's see (*squints eyes like someone wise)

You know how people love to refer to getting married as "settling down"?  "When are you settling down?" "Do you have any plans of settling down?" "You should settle down soon, you know. You're not getting any younger".  "I'm glad you're finally settling down. It's about time".

That has always bugged me.  I can't quite accept that getting married is settling down. 
Settle down is what you tell your toddler when they're all over the place, running, jumping around and just couldn't keep their bum in be quiet and still.

Settle down is what you tell a girl friend freaking out because she suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her.

To settle down is what you do when no matter how much you want to eat krispy kreme, there's just no way you can have it because there's no krispy kreme available in your town... so you settle down with a normal donut available in the nearest local bakery.

Do you actually settle down when you get married?

According to Merriam-Webster to settle down may mean:
  • To become established in a dwelling place or in a permanent job, profession or business:  begin to live a normal life.
  • To become inactive or sluggish
  • To make oneself comfortable for rest or sleep
 See settling down is life slowing down on activities if not totally stopping.  Settling down is like the denoument of a novel quickly followed by The End.  When one gets married, it's not The End... it's actually The Start. That gets me to thinking why people love to call getting married as settling down

I do believe I've been living a very normal life before I got married, I have a permanent job and profession.  Then I got married.  It's still pretty normal in general, but going out the house without me realizing that I have a chocolate stain in my crotch doesn't sound very normal, does it?

I got married.  We moved to our new home. We got pregnant.  We now have a super active high-demand toddler.  I can't really call that becoming inactive or sluggish.  In fact, even in sleep, I can't be inactive with a set of little feet always ending up on my face if not a whole little body on top of me helping herself at night.

I always make myself comfortable when I go to sleep - before and after getting married.  But after giving birth, comfort on what I wear when going to sleep is only second to easy access.  Don't think dirty.  I mean for the breastfeeding toddler to get easy access on her supply.

I married a man I more than deserve.   A man God has chosen for me.  He did.  He clearly told me it must be him.  My husband is more than what I asked for and when I married him?  I didn't just settle.  I accepted one of God's biggest blessing for me.  The one He has prepared just for me.
So, why do they call getting married as settling down again?

Settled may be a nice word - kind of implying satisfaction. But adding the word down on it? It's like you are going to go a level down from where you were before getting married.  No, when I got married, a lot of things changed and a lot of things has just gotten better.  To settle down - gives me a connotation of giving up on life, stopping your dream and just be still with your husband and kids in a "normal" life.  Maybe it's just me but I don't like to term getting married as settling down.  

So, is Daisy settling down?  I think not.  She's getting married, y'all! :-D

Leave a Comment

Danie at Pasadya said...

I agree completely, Marilou! Being married is another sense of growing, and I absolutely love it. Congratulations on your toddler! Sounds like a happy family. :)

joy said...

Being married is the busiest time of my settling down in not the right word. But maybe it means na we are not going to look for a new partner. It will be this partner and family for the rest of our lives.

Allyson said...

I love this post. I don't think I'll settle down at all when I'm married!


Salma @ Chasing Rainbow said...

Wow, I am so feeling you on EVERYTHING you just wrote. I think settling down refers a bit to not running or chasing after a wife or husband...maybe? But husbands, kids, jobs and everything else that's certianly not settling down.

Kristeta  (kalokang Pinay) said...

What a great post SP =) I agree with all the points you raised here. Coz as much as I love my family, I can easily say that getting married and raising a family is not easy. The fact that we love our family is what makes it easier. So basing on the dictionary's definition - getting married is definitely not settling down.

Perhaps they called it settling down - for people who actively date a lot of different people, but now decided to stop and stay with the ONE. But you're right, they could've used "settled" instead of "settle down."

Congratulations and best wishes to you Daisy and hubby xoxo

Dianne Khu said...

I love this post. I think being with someone you love (and who loves you the same way) for the rest of your life is the best "settling" you'll ever do!

march on... said...

I so agree with everything you wrote. When I got married, not settled down especially with two kids haha! I guess settling down once married means no more late night bar hopping, party like there's no tomorrow, going wherever your feet takes you and not really knowing what tomorrow holds. Settling down means finally finding that one true love you know you will grow old with, knowing what you gonna do for the rest of your life :)

F.L.A.G - Fundamental Learning Academy for Girls said...

Fantastic.. well said Lhot!.. no one will be truly happy if they settle.

Spanish Pinay said...

Thanks Daisy for having me on your blog! I do hope you are having a big blast on your honeymoon :)

Thanks everyone for the nice comments!!

Spanish Pinay

viviankirkfield said...

Hi SP (aka Marilou) :)
I love the post you did for "Daisy"...I'm glad I got to visit her blog.
I loved everything you said and you are so right...marriage is not "settling down" and hopefully, not "settling". It is the beginning of a new and exciting of shared passions and joint goals...where two people grow in love and friendship, supporting each other...lifting each other up in times of crisis...contributing strength where the other has weakness. said...

this is so right! and so wise!

Anne @ Green Eggs and Moms said...

Loved this! Am sharing now so more people can read it. Great post, SP!

Columba Lisa Smith said...

Great post! Maybe we should call marriage "settling up." If it's to a good man, that would fit. : )

ReviewsSheROTE Pamela R said...

Getting married and having children my life DID EVERTHING but settle down =)

I like Lisa Smith's settling up idea!!

Poping by by with vB

Pamela said...

love this post, i have been married for 15 years and we are still not settled down :-) Always something going on, right now we are about to start building a home, so there we go another crossroads! love your blog, new follower

Courtney Baxtron said...

I've never thought about this before, so thank you! :) I agree completely. I also feel that "settling" has a negative connotation to it, really love this post. Thanks!

Fabulously Quirky said...

Awesome post!

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