1. You are incredibly selfish. If there is anything that marriage has taught me It's that I'm incredibly selfish. I get mad when I don't get my way and I look out for my own interest first. Was I incredibly selfish before marriage? Yes. The reason why I think I can see it more in marriage is because I have to take another person into consideration. Before I only had to make decisions based on what I wanted because I was free to do what I pleased. Now that I'm married we have to make decisions together based on whats good for us and not just what I want.
Is my husband incredibly selfish? Yes. But I don't believe that God would have me focus on his sin. God would have me focus on my own selfishness and pray for my husband. When we focus on someone else sin what we're saying is that there's nothing wrong with us and hes the one that needs to be fixed. But in reality we are all very selfish people whether we realize it or not.
I would encourage you to take the time and ask God to reveal your sin to you. Have you really been trying to be the wife that God has called you to be. I know that my husband really loves and appreciates me but I also know that he doesn't know a lot of my sinful thoughts.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; -Psalm 139:23
2. You have your own agenda. Believe it or not you have your own agenda. That agenda can be big like having five children or something small like your husband taking out the trash tonight. Is it wrong to have plans or an agenda? No. Usually the sin comes after our plans have failed. It all comes down to how we will act when our plans don't happen. Will we be angry at our husbands for not cleaning when people are coming over? Will we be bitter that someone else is pregnant when we're not? Will we be jealous that someones husband got their wife flowers when ours didn't? It's not wrong to want any of those thing but those reactions to it is. When we put our hope on our circumstances instead of Christ we are sinning. Our joy should not come from how much our life is going according to plan but from God alone.
I can promise you that your husband will fail you more than once in your marriage. Don't be surprised. Just like you will fail him. It's our sinful condition. But I can also promise you there will be times where everything seems to be going according to your plan (scary). Because those are the times when we are most likely to do things on our own since everything is okay. Conflict points us towards Christ because we can't fix it on our own. Marriage is a big sanctifying factor in our lives because we are constantly being worked on.
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. -Romans 5:3-5