In case you were having a bad day

This isn't so much a post on how to loose weight, as much as it is a post on how depressing it is when you realized you gained weight (run on sentence). On Saturday my brother in law got married and I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in their wedding. Well, I saw some of the pictures this morning and wow! It looks like I'm still pregnant!! I am by no means one of those women who will say, oh but i just had a baby. Although that is a legitimate thing for some people. However, I have proven with Jed that I am perfectly capable of not gaining a ton of weight while i'm pregnant. As it is, I became a size 6 after i had him. I don't think that a size 6 is big by any means but I was a size 2 when I got married. Now I'm a size 11 (wow, it hurts to type that). Being a size 11 is not a horrible thing. But it is  a lot of extra weight for someone my size. I have recognized that everyone is different and comfortable at a different size. So when tiny girls say they can't believe their a size 4, I no longer get offended. I just recognize that, thats not where they want to be. weight is something I have always struggled with. I was a bigger girl in middle school and very tiny in high school. Mostly do to poor eating habits, and a lot of exercise. It has never been easy for me to just be thin. I gain weight just looking at food.

I struggle with not wanting to be ruled by food. On one hand I want to practice self control and be able to recognize that food is just that, food. On the other hand, I don't want to be the person turning down birthday cake because they can't stand to gain the calories. Don't you hate going out with those people? However, as much as I want to be "one of the people". I have come to a place where I realized that I might just need to watch everything I eat. Mostly, because I'm tired of being able to rest my laptop on my stomach. Weight loss, like everything else in my life, needs to be organized. Part of the reason I have gained so much weight is because my life is a complete mess! Having to move and then thinking about moving again in a few months drives me crazy. But, I can't really stand around waiting for life to fall into place to make a perfect schedule. I realized that I just have to take it a day at a time. I have heard that the best thing is to start with goals. So my goal for today is to come up with some sort of work out schedule that I can do and just stick with it. I also need to figure out an eating plan, because just saying I'm going to start "eating healthy" isn't really cutting it.

And to prove that I'm not making up the weight gain, I leave you with a very depressing picture of myself. Oh, and someone asked me if I was pregnant last week. So theres that. In case you thought I was joking. I almost forgot about that. I think my psyche was blocking it out. And seriously who does that?! To make the situation worse they said they were just shocked because i was so thin in high school. I just said, excuse me while I go throw up. Now, I can't blame them after seeing this....

Oh, and all comments stating I'm not fat will be given a look of haughty derision.

Leave a Comment

Mayra Romero said...

pregnancies are never the same. I've been around many pregnancies and I've seen people gain weight and not gain weight.
I had the same problem when I saw myself in your wedding pictures.
You know more than anyone that I've struggled with my weight for many years. I just now realized how to go about it. I have known you for over 10 years and I know how you get about your weight, but you have strong will and I know you can do it. You should never diet! fitness and health is a way of life. I am learning to have fun with it and not stress over it. Don't give your self timelines and make small changes.
remember you just had a baby, and you've gone through soo much! I would be worried if you lost all you baby weight by now. the slower you lose weight the more permanent it will be. Rapid weight loss only means that you will gain it right back the second you inhale a French fry.
Let's talk about this!
How many pictures have I shown you and asked "do I really look this fat in person?" pictures suck and they are not true!
You are a gorgeous woman! I don't want to hear about "dieting, and excessive exercise".
I know it stings when you see pictures now but don't do that to yourself. In being upset about your weight you might miss out on important moments in your life. Be happy and stay motivated. Take Jed on walks to the park. Do baby yoga! go with me to SoulCycle! It's seriously changing my life.
I KNOW THE FEELING! I don't want you to dwell on it! Love you!

Erick Hid and they All Go said...

Haughty Derision it is. :-P

" "