I was going to write a really sad post about how much I miss Benjamin and RJ, but i decided not to. God reminded me of two things. Benjamin is in the best place he can possibly be, and RJ is being taken care of. God loves my husband more than I do. So I decided to focus on the grace God has shown me. He has given me more than I can imagine, and for that I am grateful.
I have been trying to keep busy, because if I don't, I will drown in heartbreak. This Sunday, the sermon was a sweet reminder of our purpose in life. I realized that if I'm focused on that, God will use me. God will use me, and time will fly. I have been in a funk for a while. I think I'm being defunkified (is that a word?). I truly feel joyful. Heartbroken, but joyful. I'm excited about where God will use us. I'm also really excited about heaven! Something I didn't look forward to enough. Now It's all I can think of sometimes. Everything just seems a lot more hopeful. Kind of makes me want to dance! :)