The Unknown

We have only been in the military for close to two years, but it feels like a lifetime. Certain territory comes with joining the military, and part of that is the unknown. What I mean by that is the ridiculous lack of knowledge that you have about your future. Is he deploying soon? Are we moving? How long is his deployment? Where are they going? How long will we be here? These are all the questions that I  ask myself once a month. To no avail can any of these be answered! So the military has taught me that I have ZERO idea or control over where I will be a year from now, heck six months from now! But do we really have any idea where any of us will be in a year. The military has a funny way of teaching you to trust in God. I never realized how much I counted on my own plans, how much I planned, and how much I talked about my plans. Which is comical considering NOTHING has worked out as we planned.

If you would have asked me eight years ago what my life would be like now I would have painted a VERY different picture. If you would have asked me what our life would be like when we first got married it was still so very different than what it is now. Like living in California, RJ becoming a cop, me being a teacher different. God closed those doors really quickly. At the time we didn't understand and we were really heartbroken. Just the other day we were  saying how grateful we are that he didn't become a cop because of everything that's going on. We couldn't have said that three years ago because we didn't know. I will always remember a sermon my father in law gave where he asked if this is where we pictured our life in a year. The answer has always been no! A year and some months ago we thought we were going to Korea, now we're in NY, and I can honestly say I have no idea where I will be in a year. But I have found some peace in that. I think that its foolish to think we can plan the future, but I know I did! Now there is absolutely no denying that things are out of my control. I haven't mastered it, but it has grown me. When you hand your plans completely over to someone its humbling. Some people might think that we've handed our lives to the military, but it is evident now more than ever that God directs our step. I can promise you that God wants us in NY, that He is providing every way possible for us to be here and to be used. Its amazing how much we've seen him work through us in the year that we have been here. We still miss home, It's still a struggle, but It's okay! We're learning to let go of our ideas and embrace what God has for us.

Heres to the future, whatever it is!

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